6 of the Hardest Things to Admit to Your Employees
Even good managers face times when they have something to admit and don’t quite know how to say it.
Perhaps they’re embarrassed of the situation. Or uncomfortable sharing a difficult truth. Or they don’t like to admit mistakes.
Overthinking the Hardest Things to Admit?
Take, for example, a time when you had a difficult message and, rather than just saying it, you kept trying to find the exact words over and over in your head.
Well, the reason something might be hard to say could be a matter of overthinking the meaning behind it. What you believe employees will think or how they’ll react probably isn’t bad at all.
So, here are a few of the hardest things to admit and how to say them anyway:
‘I’m out of new ideas’
There’s nothing wrong with a manager admitting when he or she is tapped out. Sometimes, the creative juices just aren’t flowing.
But managers sometimes find it hard to admit because, after all, aren’t all the great new approaches supposed to come from you?
Short answer is: no.
Admitting to employees that you’ve run out of fresh takes tells them that their input is just as valuable as yours. And it will spur employee creativity.
Rephrase: “We need an idea for a new sales initiative, and all my concepts have been done before. Let’s put our heads together.“
‘I changed my mind’
What’s so bad about this? Many managers feel they’re admitting that they didn’t think fully through an initial decision. Now they fear it will make them sound unsure or flaky.
It’s easier to say if you give your team enough detail about why you’re revisiting a decision. Plus, you’ll want to let them know immediately if your new plan will affect them and how.
Rephrase: “I’ve given the matter some thought and think we’d be better off going with Plan B, not Plan A, as I had originally announced.“
‘I’m really disappointed‘
It’s difficult to tell their employees or whole teams they’ve underperformed at something. So difficult, it’s tempting to gloss over the bad stuff with an “it’s all good” to cushion the blow.
But sometimes, we managers need to let it really hit the fan to bring home the importance of what happened. While there’s value in seeing the bright side, expressing disappointment may be the only way to right the ship.
“If it’s always ‘all good,’ then there’s nothing to change, fix or shift,” says Kris Boesch, CEO and founder of Choose People. “Which, if you think about it from a team’s perspective, is concerning. If the boat is sinking and ‘it’s all good,’ we’re all going to drown while our leader is in a state of denial.”
It’s okay to harness some negative emotions to get your team motivated to act. So relay your disappointment and immediately follow with your commitment to the team.
Rephrase: ” … and that’s why I’m disappointed. We came up short this time. But we’ve at least got some starting points to learn from in the future.”
‘I’m not sure this is working’
When managers say this, what they’re really telling an employee is: “I’m not sure you’re working.” But, of course, that’s one of the hardest things to admit, and you don’t want to say it outright. So we resort to the vague “this” to disguise the real problem: an employee just isn’t cutting it.
It’s difficult to say, but the consequences of not saying it could be worse: The employee ends up floundering in the position, doing neither himself nor your department any good.
The key to bringing up this difficult subject is to be armed with specifics: facts and real-life examples that support your opinion. Otherwise, it just sounds like you’re being critical for no reason.
Rephrase: “Let’s talk about your comfort level with the job and possibly reevaluating your position.“
‘I’m sorry’
It’s hard to say you’re sorry for just about anything without looking vulnerable.
So face that fact. Then break down exactly why you need to apologize.
It’s important because you don’t want to overdo an apology. And you don’t want to under-do it either.
Planning what you intend to say also helps you focus on why you’re apologizing. Was it a result of a misunderstanding? Did you make a hasty move that resulted in harm?
You want to include that in your response, not as an excuse, but to show an understanding of what happened and why. And you want your employee to appreciate that you’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Rephrase: “I must have misunderstood your plan, which is why I didn’t present it; I’m really sorry about that.“
‘I screwed up’
Good managers own up to mistakes. But it’s still difficult to tell your team you goofed.
Depending on the size of your screw-up, a sheepish “My bad” probably won’t cut it. While you don’t want to overstate the mistake, the important thing is not to downplay your error entirely. If you do, it’ll come across to employees as if you don’t take your mistakes as seriously as theirs.
When you realize a problem your team now faces is a result of your dumb move – either directly or indirectly – own up to what you did to cause the problem and express a desire to resolve it.
Like “I’m sorry,” put this one in perspective. Targeting your exact mistake can help you tell yourself what you did wrong so you can avoid it later.
Rephrase: “I miscalculated how long it would take us to get our initial phase up and running, which is why Phase 2 is running behind schedule. I’m sorry this is affecting your schedules and duties.”
