How to Navigate the Death of a Colleague: 4 Important Strategies
Why does it feel so taboo to talk about death? It’s one of the only certainties in life, yet conversations about death, especially in the workplace, remain some of the hardest we’ll ever have.
Maybe it’s because we don’t want to negatively impact the company culture that we’ve worked so hard to create. Or we’re afraid that talking about the deceased will cause further pain instead of easing it.
Why We Tiptoe around Death in the Workplace
In the workplace, we have a tendency to tiptoe around certain conversations, including death. It’s not because we don’t care but because we feel poorly equipped to navigate the conversation with the grace it deserves. Most companies are designed to keep things moving forward, and death interrupts that. When we lose a member of our team, it leaves no room for avoidance. And there’s no playbook on how best to respond.
I’ve struggled with this myself. In the last few months, loss has touched my company in ways I never could have anticipated: My team unexpectedly lost our CFO, along with three members of our broader Anna Griffin, Inc. community.
Each loss left its own mark on our team, and I quickly realized that there was so much more I could be doing to make support after death a part of my company culture, especially when it comes to losing a team member.
What Support Can Look Like
The way we handle the death of an employee sets the tone for the rest of our team. It’s a lot of responsibility, but also an opportunity to cultivate a culture of genuine empathy.
From my experience, here are a few things we can do to meaningfully support our teams:
Allow People to Express Their Grief
Creating a workplace culture where people feel comfortable enough to express their grief is one of the most important things you can do. Yes, that means letting people cry, as uncomfortable as it may initially feel, to witness such vulnerability.
But our team members are not just employees. They are whole people, and they show up to work as such. Grief is one of the hardest human experiences, and losing a colleague can take a huge toll on your entire team. Instead of trying to just move on, make space where people can talk openly about their grieving process and share stories about the team member you all have lost.
Consider sending a company-wide email letting your team know that you are here as a listening ear if they need someone to talk to or need to be pointed in the right direction for additional support resources. You might also offer flexible time off and remote work options, not just in the immediate but in the weeks that follow, with the understanding that grief is not a linear process.
Help Employees Transition the Workload
The reality is, even under tragic circumstances, the work doesn’t stop. It’s a delicate balance of delegating responsibilities from the deceased team member without overwhelming your staff.
The key is being realistic and flexible about performance expectations and timelines. Some team members might cope by jumping right into tasks, while others may need more time to get back into the rhythm of things. Instead of making assumptions, discuss capacity with your employees. Delegate what you can, with the option of pausing non-essential duties to avoid burnout.
Make It Personal
Beyond your team, you can extend support to your lost employee’s loved ones, too.
Sending cards and flowers to a deceased team member’s family is a wonderful gesture. But the key is making it personal. Too often, we are afraid to say the wrong thing or even talk about the departed person to avoid adding to the grief. So, we opt for the generic “I’m sorry for your loss” or, worse, say nothing at all.
Yet people who have lost a family member or friend typically welcome personal anecdotes about their life and legacy. When I’ve written to the families of team members and community members we’ve lost, I’ve made it a point to include something specific: a story about the way they lit up a room, a project they poured their heart into, or a small moment that captured who they really were.
One of the most powerful things you can tell a grieving family is something they didn’t already know, like the way their loved one mentored a newer colleague or the joke they told every Monday morning that became a workplace tradition. These details are gifts. They tell a family that their person mattered here, that they were valued not just for their work, but for who they were.
For smaller, closely knit teams, these stories come naturally. For larger companies, it may take a bit more effort to find. But it’s well worth your time to gather stories from your colleagues, as a heartfelt card will be treasured in ways that a standard sympathy note won’t be.
Try to Lessen the Load
Death can make life so complicated for the people who are left behind. But as an employer, you have a unique place to be proactive and help lessen the load.
When it comes to employee benefits, you might consider adding funeral cost coverage to the equation. Or, from the planning perspective, you might give your team members the option to have their last wishes added to formal insurance documents, so it’s one less thing their loved ones have to worry about in the case of their death.
I’m also a big fan of acts of kindness, so depending on the size and dynamic of your team, you can think of creative ways to come together to provide support to the family after the passing. That might be volunteering time to help with day-to-day responsibilities like meals, which can quickly get overwhelming in the middle of grief. Whatever you decide on, you can create a simple, opt-in way for employees to contribute without placing pressure on anyone or overwhelming loved ones with outreach.
There’s nothing easy about losing a team member. But by building a culture where grief is handled with honesty and grace, you create the kind of trust that carries your team through the hardest moments. That is the kind of workplace people never forget.
